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Ibintu 5 wakora Bikazanzamura umubano wangiritse ku bashakanye


Mbere yo kwiyemeza kubana, usanga akenshi urukundo ruryoshye kandi buri umwe yifuza kurugumamo no kuryoherwa narwo ariko siko bihora. Usanga hari ubwo mwishimye ndetse cyane ariko ntibibabuza ko hari n’igihe mwicwa n’agahinda ugasanga ntimuhuza ariho bamwe bafata icyemezo cyo kuyoboka inzira ya gatanya.

N’ubwo benshi biyemeza gutandukana, hari amabanga yahishuwe n’abahanga mu by’imitekerereze ya muntu, yafasha kongera kuzanzamura umubano wangiritse.

Delia Lloyd, umunyamakuru w’igitangazamakuru le Huffington Post, ashingiye ku nyigo z’abahanga yatanze yagaragaje amabanga atanu yo kuzanzamura umubano wangiritse bikaba byanawufasha kutawuviramo gusenyuka biganisha kuri gatanya(divorce)



1. IRINDE KUBA MATERIYALISITE(Materialiste) NO GUSESAGURA
Mu nyigo yakozwe na Jason Carroll, impuguke yabashije kubaza ababana(couples) 1734, yasanze ko ingo zabamateriyalisite(Materialiste) bakunda utuntu cyane kandi bitaborohera kuganira bifungurirana ndetse n’ubushobozi bwo gukemura impaka bugabanuka cyane ugereranije n’abandi.



2. SHAKA UMURIMO UKORA NTIWIRIRWE MU RUGO

Ibi bireba cyane umugore kuko, nk’uko Delia Lloyd yabitangaje, ingo zifite umugore ufite akazi utirirwa mu rugo, ntizikunda guhura n’ibibazo by’ingutu byageza mu kwaka gatanya ku bashakanye.



3. IRINDE GUHORANA N’UWO MWASHAKANYE

Mu gihe umubano urimo ucumbagira, ni byiza gucishamo ntimube muri kumwe nubwo bitavuga ko umwe agomba kwirinda undi.

Si mu rwego rwo kwirindana ariko nk’uko Delia yakomeje abivuga, ni ingenzi kugira igihe mumara mutari kumwe kuko bibafasha kubona ko wowe iyo uri wenyine cyangwa uri mu kivunge biba bitaryoshye nk’uko byaryoha mu gihe muri babiri. Ibyo bituma igihe mwongeye kubonana mubonana buri wese yongeye kwifuza undi.



4. MUTERE AKABARIRO

Ibyishimo by’umubiri ku bashakanye akenshi ni isoko y’ibyishimo ku mubano wabo nka couple. Aha ni ukwirinda gutera akabariro mu gihe umugore cyangwa umugabo atabishaka, ukirinda guhata no guhatiriza byaba ngombwa ugatetesha. Aha abagore benshi babiharira abagabo gusa kandi birabareba bombi.

Ni ingenzi kumenya ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ikozwe bibishye cyangwa ikozwe gacyeya, ishobora guhungabanya umubano w’abashakanye bikaba byawuganisha ku isenyuka rya burundu.



5. ITA KU TUNTU DUTOYA

Burya utuntu dutoya nko, kwitegereza icyiza kiri kuwo mwashakanye ukakimubwira, kumubwira ko yambaye neza, ko ari mwiza kumusekera n’utundi…burya nubwo ari utuntu dusuzugurwa tugira uruhare rukomeye mu gukomeza umubano wajanjaguritse.

Ni ingenzi cyane kugabanya ibyo usaba uwo mubana kwikosora ukirinda kumubonamo amakosa gusa kandi ukirinda intonganya. Ni byiza gushaka utuntu dushekeje n’utwo bita gutungurana(surprise) kandi ntuhore mu bintu bimwe.

Ibi ni amwe mu mabanga yafasha umubano w’abashakanye wahungabanye kongera kuryoha kandi mu kubigerageza urugo rushobora kongera kurangwamo inseko n’akanyamuneza.

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