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Kuki ari ngombwa kugira uwo wihebera

Kuva umuntu akiri umwana mutoya, usanga iteka akeneye gukundwa no gukunda. Gukundwa abigeraho cyane cyane iyo agize amahirwe yo gukura areba umubyeyi we hafi aho. Usibye n’umubyeyi, iyo bidakunze ko agira umubyeyi yegurira urukundo rwe kamere ye imufasha gushaka uwo yahitamo nk’umwakirizi w’urukundo w’urwo rukundo

Uko imyaka ishira indi igataha, ageraho agakenera kugira umuntu aharira urukundo rwe akamukunda akaramata, bakibanira babona umugisha bakabana kugeza mu busaza bwabo. Ibyo ntibibuza benshi kwibaza impamvu nyamukuru zikwiye gutuma umuntu agira uwo yihebera bakabana iteka ryose.

Nk’uko inzobere mu myitwarire nyagitsina padiri Xavier Thevenot yabivuze mu gitabo cye yise REPERES ETHIQUES pour un monde nouveau, ni ngombwa ko igihe kigera umuntu agahitamo umwe yegurira umutima we, ndetse n’ubuzima bwe bwose kubera impamvu eshatu z’ingenzi:

1. GUHEREKEZANYA

Mu kuvuka umuntu avuka ari wenyine, ndetse agakura ari wenyine. Ariko uko iminsi igenda iha indi, usanga ageraho agasa n’usubira kwigunga aho kamere ye iba imutegeka gushaka umuherekeza umwe mubo azi bose bakabana akaramata. Iri herekeza (accompagnement) usanga uribuze arangwa no kwivumbura ndetse no guheranywa n’agahinda. Kubaho wenyine mu gihe cy’amasomo no mu turimo twa buri munsi usanga bigeraho kubyihanganira bikaba ikibazo gikomeye nubwo yaba afite itsinda riryoshye abamo mu buzima bwe bwa buri munsi. Usanga buri wese akeneye umutega amatwi, umugira inama, umusaba kudacika intege mbese umubera aho abandi batamubereye kandi akamufasha amwishyingira afata ubuzima bw’uwo akunda nk’ubwe bwite. Ngiyo impamvu nyamukuru ituma buri wese igihe kigera akumva azaruhuka umunsi atagifata ibyemezo wenyine cyangwa ngo usange yarabaswe no kwigunga(Solitude)

2. GUSHIMISHANYA

Impamvu igaragara cyane nk’iyungirije iyo guherekezanya, babiri babana kugirango umwe afate umwanya ukomeye mu munezero wa mugenzi we. Aha niho usanga cyane uri wenyine hari umunezero yatanye nawo cyane cyane uwo atakigezaho ari wenyine. Aha niho twavuga cyane nk’ibyishimo byo gutemberana n’uwo ukunda, guhabwa impano zitandukanye kandi zivuye ku mutima w’umukunzi. Iyi ngingo ni ingenzi cyane aho ku bashakanye bafite uburenganzira, akabariro gafata umwanya uhambaye n’ubwo usanga hari ibitari bicyeya kangiza muri iyi ngingo ya kabiri ku baba batarasezerana kubana akaramata. Iyi ngingo ukunda gusanga ihungabanya imibanire y’abashakanye igihe ititaweho dore ko hari benshi bakeka ko ubutunzi buhagije cyangwa ibindi bitandukanye iyi ngingo ikaryamirwa n’urugo rukaba rwasenyuka

3. KUBYARA

Iyi ngingo ya gatatu usanga mu mico ya benshi, ihabwa agaciro ndetse no kurusha izo ngingo zindi zayibanjirije, ariko mu byukuri ni ingenzi n’ubwo bidakunze kubyara bidakwiye guhungabanya urukundo rw’abashakanye. Mu kugira umwe muhitamo kubana akaramata, ni ingenzi cyane kumenya guhitamo uwo mushobora kubyarana. Aha niho akenshi usanga ubukene bw’ababana bahuje ibitsina dore ko n’ubwo izindi ngingo twavuze haruguru bazubahiriza iyi ntiyashoboka kandi izi ngingo uko ari eshatu ni inyabutatu yuzuzanya cyeretse kubatabasha kubyara biterwa n’ubugumba. Babiri babana, kimwe mu bikomeza urukundo rwabo, no kugira urubyaro birimo. Aha urubyaro rugaragara cyane nk’imbuto ya ziriya ngingo ebyiri twavuze haruguru bityo urubyaro rukaba impamvu y’umunezero usendereye ku bashakanye. Kuri iyi ngingo, Xavier Thevenot asoza atsindagira cyane ko mu gihe abahisemo kubana akaramata batabashije kubyara, badakwiye kubifata nk’ishyano risenya umubano wabo dore ko bishoboka cyane gushimishanya no guherekezanya muri byose nubwo urubyaro rwaba rubuze.

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