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NI GUTE WAKOMEZA KUBANA N’UMUGABO WAWE MU MYAKA 10 IRI MBERE

Birashoboka ko nk’umugore ubanye neza n’umugabo wawe mu gihe mutaramarana imyaka 10 wibaza uti « ese mama nyuma y’imyaka 10 tuzaba tukibanye gutya ? Ko mbona se abandi bamaranye igihe kinini, ko muribo hari benshi usanga batikibanye neza kandi nabo mu gihe nk’icyacu barumvikanaga nkatwe ? »

Ibi rero ngo ni ibibazo byibazwa na benshi mu bagore bubatse ingo vuba, akaba ariyo mpamvu urubuga 7s7 rutanga inzira z’uburyo wowe nk’umugore wibaza ibi bibazo, wakwiga ku mugabo wawe kugira ngo umenye uburyo mu myaka 10 azaba ahagaze, yifashe, mbese uburyo azaba ameze .

Abashakashatsi bo mu makaminuza atandukanye yo muri Leta zunze Ubumwe z’Amerika bakoze ubushakashatsi ku bashakanye barenga 2000, maze basanga ko ngo nta zibana zidakomana amahembe !

Ngo impaka za hato na hato ntizabura igihe cyose abantu bari kumwe kubera impamvu zitandukanye z’ubuzima, kandi ngo burya ntibyabura kuko abantu si bamwe yewe ngo n’abana bavuka mu nda imwe hari igihe bagirana impaka bakiri kumwe n’ababyeyi babo. Aha rero ngo niho bahereye batangariza The Journal of Family ibi bikurikira :

• Niba utonganye n’umugabo wawe gato, wikumva ko isi igushiriyeho cyangwa ko urugo rwakunaniye, ahubwo genzura imyitwarire agira nyuma y’uko kutumvikana ; urebe niba bishirira aho atari bubigire birebire ngo abike inzika azahore abigucyurira ; kandi nawe nk’umugore gerageza kumuvana muri ubwo burakari umuzanira ibindi biganiro bitandukanye n’icyo mwari muriho mujya gutongana, cyangwa se icyazanye uko gutongana.

• Kwiyunga ngo burya ni intwaro ikomeye yo guhosha no kwibagiza burundu ubwumvikane buke,mugore rero ngo n’ubwo umugabo wawe ariwe waba ari mu ikosa, gerageza ugire ubutwari bwo kwicisha bugufi, ube wemeye ikosa cyangwa unamubwire ko nta kibazo gihari ko wamubabariye. Ibyo byose ukabimubwira ubicisha mu yandi magambo umubwira uburyo iryo kosa ari ribi atazaryongera ariko ngo ukabimubwira mu bwenge, ugenda ubicisha mu ngero uzi cyangwa unahimbye z’ingaruka z’amakosa nk’ayo.

• Yego habaho umwihariko w’intonganya nk’igihe ngo zabayeho kubera ihungabana umugabo wawe yagize, wenda ryatewe n’ibibazo byo mu kazi, inzoga yanyoye n’ibindi, aha ngo bibaho ko ibyo bibazo umugabo wawe yahuye nabyo bikugiraho ingaruka ariko wowe nk’umugore ubibona wikumvako isi igushiriyeho, kuko akenshi ngo azagutonganya nta rwango rurimo, ahubwo gerageza umwurure umubwira utugambo two kumuhumuriza, azagenda yigarura gahoro gahoro niyumvako umwihanganira.

ICYITONDERWA : Kurambana n’uwo mwashakanye mu munezero mwembi, umugore n’umugabo, mugomba kubigiramo uruhare mugarurana igihe ubonye mugenzi wawe ashaka kugenda ahinduka, kandi unagerageza gushaka udushya mu buzima bw’abashakanye dukomeza urukund. Ikindi ni uko buri umwe agomba gushyira ku mutima ko abanye na mugenzi we yihitiyemo, kandi babazabana kugeza ku iherezo ry’ubuzima bwabo, atari nka wa mwana uvuga ngo “Mpana vuba nigendere”.

Kubera iki ? Kubera ko ibi aribyo bizabafasha gushyira umutima ku rugo mwubatse, aho gushamadukira ibyo hanze bibarangaza bibabuza kurwitaho. Ibi bizanabafasha kugira umuhate wo gutahiriza umugozi umwe kugirango urugo rutere imbere kandi ubuzima bw’urugo ntibugire n’umwe bubangamira muri mwese murugize yaba umugore, umugabo n’abana igihe mwamaze kubagira.

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