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Tandukanya urukundo nyarwo n’irari

Urukundo byanze bikunze rufite aho ruhirira buri gihe n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ariko kenshi muri iyi minsi si ko bose babibona ahubwo ibyo kuryama biza mbere y’urukundo ku buryo bigera aho umuntu aryamana n’undi bavuganye gato nta numwe wibuka izina ry’undi kandi nta n’umwe wicuruza urimo bose ngo ni abana bo murugo cyangwa se umuhungu usanzwe wasohotse agahura n’ibishuko. Mu byukuri ibi birababaje si na byiza na gato tudashyizemo n’amakuba biteza abantu banduye izo ndwara twese tuzi.

Tutibagiwe kandi ko n’ubundi nta rukundo rwabaho nta rari rihari gusa irari ntabwo rigomba kuruta urukundo, umuhungu akubita undi ikofe kugirango amutware umukobwa, ariko kugira ngo yubakane n’uwo mukobwa umuryango ukomeye bisaba urukundo ntabwo ari irari.

Abahungu kenshi nibo bashobora guhita baryamana n’umukobwa ako kanya nta bintu byinshi hanyuma ibyo byifuzo akaba aribyo bitiranya n’urukundo mu by’ukuri ntabwo ari urukundo na ruke, nibyo turebera hamwe icyakwereka ko ufite urukundo cyangwa se ari irari.

Niba ari irari:

-Wita cyane ku mubiri w’umukobwa : rimwe na rimwe ureba uherey ku mabuno uzamura ku gituza isura ukanayigeraho nyuma, benshi ntibanayitaho cyane...ni akabazo !!! Mbere y’uko unamenya izina rye, uba wibaza uko yaba ameze mu buriri.

-Ntiwita na gato kubyo avuga : ntacyo bihindura kuri wowe niba mutarigeze muganira, ntunatinya gukuraho telephone iyo aguhamagaye, ushobora kumara iminsi utamuvugisha keretse yongeye kukwemerera.

-Ushaka kumubona gusa kugira ngo muryamane : gutya buri gihe uba ufite impamvu zo kuvuga iyo aguhamagaye ashaka ko mubonana, kereka iyo ari mu buriri birumvikana. Yakuvugisha ibindi bintu ukumva ntiwishimye.

-Nta gaciro umuha kanini : iyo wisohokeye kuwa gatanu birumvikana ko utamwikoza uba uri kumwe n’abantu bawe mwamara kunywa abiri saa tanu ukaba urahamagaye ngo aze musangire...mvugishije ukuri ibyo wamugurira byose ntabwo ziba ari impuwe.

-Iyo murangije buri gihe uhita ugenda : iyo uri mu buriri nawe isaha na telephone biba bitaretse iruhande, warangiza ntamenya aho unyuze kandi buri gihe uba ufite umuntu uba aguhamagaye, uhita ujya kureba...”Ka ngende hari umuntu umpamagaye byihutirwa ye!"

Iyo ibyo urimo ari urukundo :

- Murishimirana buri gihe : mu biganiro byanyu ibyishimo biba ari byose amasaha akanyura ho nk’iminota, uba wumva ushaka kumva uko umunsi wa mugenzi wawe wagenze ibyo yahuye nabyo n’ibindi nkibyo.

- Ubona ari mwiza buiri gihe : wamusanga mu gitondo mu buriri cyangwa ahandi atakwiteguye buri gihe uba ubona ashimishije amaso yawe

- Wishimira kumarana igihe nawe : mwaryamana mutabikora byose ntabwo uba ubyitayeho cyane, yakubwira ko mugomba gutegereza ukabyemera utaburanye.

- Umwereka inshuti : nyuma yo kumarana nawe iminsi ubona ari ngombwa ko inshuti zawe zimumenya kandi zikamukunda (nubwo hari igihe zigukorana !)rimwe na rimwe n’ababyeyi iyo igihe kigeze.

- Aza cyane mu ma gahunda yawe : niyo waba ufite gahunda yo gusohokana n’abahungu bagenzi bawe, nubwo utamuzana ariko uba wumva byagushimisha kuba mwari kumwe nawe muri ako kanya.

- Buri gihe uramushyigikira : iyo umuntu amuvuze nabi ako kanya uramucyaha kandi ukaburanira umukunzi wawe, buri gihe ugashyigikira ibyo avuze hanze niyo mwaba mugera mu rugo imirwano igakara.

Mu rukundo rero habamo ibintu byinshi tutavuga ngo turangize, ariko ukobiri ni ibintu bigaragarira buri wese ko urukundo rutandukanye n’irari. Irari naryo ni impumyi nk’urukundo gusa ryo riteza ibibazo kurusha urukundo iyo wafashwe n’irari utekerereza hafi cyane bishoboka kandi buri gihe biba ari iby’akanya gato.

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